LiveLongAgeWell

Monday’s post will be “Date night success for married people”…
but today let’s examine one pearl of “conventional wisdom”: that married people live longer and are healthier than single people.

Fortunately this “marriage” benefit is not so rigid, as it allows for unmarried couples too; just living as a couple, or at least living with another person, is said to help you live longer. The reasons are uncertain. It could be that close daily social interaction itself is good for our hearts and brains, or that when we live with another person we are less likely to engage in damaging behaviors like laying on the couch all day or drinking too much or smoking. Probably it’s a combination of various things.

There is also good evidence that living with a pet is better than living alone. (I suspect it’s better to live with a pet than with another human with whom you don’t get along. I believe the stress from a nasty human relationship is worse than any benefit….yes, dogs and cats can be our best friends…)

Armed with the conventional wisdom then, I found this Psychology Today blog post very interesting. Written by a University of California psychologist, she argues that the basic research (the RAND study)—the foundation of the accepted dogma that marriage protects you—is biased and not true.

Dr. DePaulo’s examined the RAND study along with even longer-term data, and found that the most scientifically correct conclusion is: what is best for your health is not singleness or the married state, but consistency… that you either STAY married or STAY single.

She says the other studies had it wrong in their conclusion that people who were “single” died sooner. The reason lies in the RAND definition of “single”. They defined single as anyone who was not married at the time of the research. This means that their “single” group included not only people who had never married, but anyone who was also divorced, separated, or widowed. And there is plenty of data—and I saw this many times in my medical career—that people (especially men) who are divorced, separated, or widowed suffer more medical problems.

So the major study showing that being married was healthier than singlehood used a definition of “single” that included an less-healthy mix of separated, divorced, and widowed people. Another longer-term study of single vs. married, the Terman Life-Cycle Study which began collecting data in 1921, found that either consistent marriage or consistent singleness was the best for health.

I recommend you check out the Psychology Today blog, and if you have an opinion, email me or leave a comment. I am not against being in a couple; far from it, but I think we should, like this UC professor, look at the potential medical benefits more honestly. Next…one hint how to stay coupled.