LiveLongAgeWell

Several people from last week’s survey (if you didn’t fill it out, you still can on the site), suggested I address more of the psychological issues of aging well. So today let’s cover one small but I think important psychological aspect of aging, an attitude you might be carrying but not be aware of. It’s something artificial, a mind-set that will cut your potential and cause you to age faster.

About when I turned 30, I started to hear some of my similarly-aged friends say things like: “I’m too old to try that” or “Oh no, I can’t do that, I’m too old”. It was like they hit the magic age of 30 or so, and they realized some discrete, all-of-a-sudden drop in their ability to handle certain tasks or enjoy some activities or sports they used to easily engage in, or in their ability to interact with younger people anymore.

That was a strange concept for me, because as I grew up, I don’t recall anyone in my family ever saying—including my grandfather who at age 90 started going to the golf driving range—anything like that. My grandfather it seemed was always open to most any new adventure or activity no matter what his age. Maybe he lived in some perpetual state of denial, but up until he died suddenly at age 94, he was mentally and physically healthy, active, and always seemed happy. I also observed that characteristic in my best-aging older patients…the ones who seemed happiest also seemed the most open to new activities and ideas…they didn’t let their chronological age inhibit them.

It seems to be almost a self-fulfilling prophecy: those who think or believe that their age limits them from doing something they might want to do, find that indeed, they “can’t”, and worse, this sets in motion a pattern of inability and inaction. Since they “couldn’t” do whatever anymore (say something as simple as enjoying themselves and staying late at an absolutely fun party), that “confirmed” or justified they were really getting older, and they began to limit themselves more and more, aging themselves ever more quickly and prematurely.

Some people don’t necessarily think they can’t do something anymore, but that they shouldn’t do it at “their age”. For example, I have heard sixty-year olds say they don’t think they should be friends with people in their thirties. To me, that seems slightly crazy and certainly counterproductive. I think whatever age you are, you should be happy to have good friends across the entire age spectrum if you can, and each of you can teach and enrich the lives of the others.

So listen to your inner voice and see if this is a factor in your life, or someone close to you. Maybe it’s something learned from your parents, but if you are aware, you can un-learn, and realize that at most any age, you really have the potential to do what you want, and you should.